2023

I haven’t posted on here much this past year. There’s a reason for that. You see, this has been a hard and stressful year on me and my family. There’s an underlying sorrow that never leaves. And the holidays just makes it harder. Randy loved the holidays. In what was to be a Christmas he wouldn’t live to see, he had his Christmas list all made out and knew what he wanted. His presents were delivered after he was already gone. Even to this day, that still just breaks my heart.

So it’s been just over 3 years now since we lost Randy. You’d think that there would be some level of improvement, but I seem to be regressing. I’m more depressed, more stressed, and I feel like my health is failing me. My employer is getting fed up with me not delivering on my promises of innovation, so I don’t know how much longer that’s going to last. There’s just SO MUCH on my mind now, and it’s all causing me an anxiety like I’ve never known before. This world seems like such a dark and miserable place since Randy left. And to be honest, it’s getting harder and harder to hold on. I don’t know how much more I can take…

So it’s a new year…will anything good happen??