A life worth remembering…

I realized today that I haven’t posted to here in a while. Not because I forgot or didn’t want to, but because I realize now how hard it is to celebrate the life of someone whom you are still grieving for. Rarely a moment goes by that I’m not thinking about Randy. And I try to not do that when it comes to moments where I need to be mentally “present”, but it’s so hard to be in the present moment when his absence is always screaming at me. No matter where I am or what I’m doing, I can’t push him out of my mind for very long. And I feel bad about that when it comes to my other 2 children, but it’s an inescapable fact that I can’t deny. So with that being said, writing in here has been painful more often than it’s been therapeutic, making me take a break from doing so.

However, a thought came to me and made me want to get this down somewhere, even if no one ever reads these….

Randy lived a life worth remembering.

It’s as simple as that. His mother and I are often reminded of the difficult journey he had to travel in his short 25 years. An early cancer diagnosis, treatments that left him disabled, surgery after surgery….I could go on and on. But Randy persevered. Yes, there were moments that I KNOW he was afraid. Afraid and fearful of the pain to come, whether it was a simple blood draw or a major surgery. My son had to face a world of pain and hardships most of us will never know.

And through alllllll of that, Randy told corny jokes, laughed hysterically at the cheesiest things, loved torturing me and his brother, and lived his life the best way he knew how – with strength, determination, humor….and that beautiful smile.

And when you think about it, isn’t that what makes life worth living? Isn’t that what makes a life worth remembering? The smiles you caused while you were here, or the jokes you told as only you could tell them? And no matter what, Randy was usually laughing before he even got to the punchline (which he often butchered and would start re-telling it mid-joke lol)…

In case you’re new to this blog, I’ll let you in on this obvious truth: I’m very proud of Randy. I’m proud to be called his dad (as I am with Jordan and James), and I’m proud of the amazing legacy he left behind. And while I’m not ready to start smiling and laughing again (if I ever am), I’m ready to acknowledge a life well lived….

Thank you, Randy….thank you for just being you, my son…

❤️♾ love beyond forever…