There is no question that 2020 is by far the worst year of my life. At the start of that year, I didn’t know what I was in for. I had no idea how drastically life would change. Unfortunately, l got a firsthand lesson…
Obviously, losing Randy was the worst event that has ever happened to me. It’s been over a year and a half and the pain is still almost overwhelming on a daily basis. I have learned to hide it better (especially at work) and be more careful about who I share my pain with, but even if I smile on the outside, my mind and my heart are always with him wherever he is. The world feels like it’s in chaos right now, but it’s an even darker place without Randy. He always had a cheesy joke about something that made things seem more innocent and lighthearted. Now, the world is a desolate place full of despair and darkness. He took the laughter with him…
With that being said, Randy wasn’t my only loss that year and I wanted to take a moment to remember other family members I lost in 2020. My cousin Jeannie (same age as me) passed away suddenly. Her mom and dad (my aunt and uncle) passed away around the same time as Jeannie did, so there went 3 members of my family just like that. All tragic losses and all sad moments for me, as well as their families. I couldn’t even attend my aunt Ruby’s funeral due to being in the hospital at the time. I never really got to say goodbye to any of them…
I have several regrets in my life. I took these people for granted, and now they’re not here. I’ll always hurt over that, knowing that I could’ve done more to spend time with them. I hope they can forgive me…
Finally, to Randy…wherever you are, Daddy is so sorry. I wasted a good part of your life “chasing rainbows” that didn’t belong to me, and I didn’t even realize it until you were already gone. None of those supposed rainbows were worth missing time from your life. I hurt over that missed time every single day. I hope one day, you and I can both forgive a foolish old man…
I love you, son…beyond forever ❤️♾
For the love of Randy... 